Saturday, February 15, 2014

For Bill

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. 

I love you simply

without problems or pride: I love you in this way

because I do not know any other way of loving but this

in which there is no I or you,

so intimate that your hand

upon my chest is my hand,

so intimate that when I fall asleep

your eyes close"

Pablo Neruda

Friday, February 14, 2014

A beautiful purposeful anarchy

I recently wrote a short story or a little essay which ever way you would like to look at it 
for a beautiful site

I hadn't done this before and my understanding of ( p r o p e r ) grammar, the technical side to our English language is rather very askew. I can go as far as a verb, adjective or noun, full stop, comma but that's it, as it never really got kickstarted in the beginning for me.
( I've noticed this hiccup glares at you when trying to learn a new language)

It all sprouted from my anxiety as a little totter in the classroom situation, of not fitting in and that, maybe it was repeating kindergarten. Maybe it was coming last in the class each year, or maybe it was when I decided to put my head through the bars on the kindergarten patio which was the first port of call into the school, only to get my head stuck. The bell rang and in desperation of not being found out the front of the school, I almost lost both ears pulling my head back out!

I don't know but what ever it was, school and me were not like a glove 

more like a lost sock worrying about being in the 3rd drawer down.

(You see, I preferred to do watercolours in my English books, all over the top of my writing while occasionally viewing the blackboard repetition, I was really in a world of my own, I just thought if I read a lot in my own time I would eventually catch up and grasp it. I've read a lot but I don't think I ever properly grasped grammar in its technical form.)

but that's ok.
I'm fine with that.
I' m   a  r i s k   t a k e r .

How to spot differences now, well I don't 
I just write.

I was as usual throwing myself fully to the task of writing this little story, but after 3 days of shamelessly believing that I had similar creative articulation as Tolstoy 
 sheer panic came over me, 

( f u c k

this is where being naive is really really helpful, 

sometimes it can keep fear away from the door. 

So I opted for the road of naivety and grandeur of oneself.
.........and kept going


Going straight to safety zone of what was
 very personal to me,
 growing up in wilderness gardens, as this is what really has taught me some great life skills and a deeper understanding of myself and how 
I look at the world to what it is and what it may become for me.

I guess I really wanted to express a different class room environment 
that really has stood by me all my life.

I guess I just keep trying new things.

I'm still such a strong believer in your environment that you grow up in, education yes it is very important but I think there's so much more to it, 
than just relying on a school education to
 tick all the boxes, 
because  sometimes
it doesn't.

Not everyone fits in.

Often the inspiration at school is the externals of life not the internals that really make up who we are.

A n y w a y

You can have a peak 
at this very inspiring site called The Planthunter, a must for all the green thumbs
and more of  a m u s t 
 for all the pink thumbs that really do need to feel the soil.
you can find my little story 

Hill End Press wilderness garden